...will time heal?

I've been avoiding to talk about Ciki for quite sometimes.
No, I'm not forgetting him.
It's just that the perasaan tajam menikam itu masih ada lagi dalam hati aku.

Just now, one of the bloggers left a comment at this entry --> Kehilangan Itu and when I read back the whole entry, walaupun dulu ramai yang katakan time will heal, rupanya tidak.

I don't mean to cry tapi airmata jatuh lagi mencurah-curah...

oh my.
It's 2 days till my wedding day oke.
I'm getting married the day after tomorrow!
Jangan sedeh-sedeh F, nanti buruk bawah mata tuu.

Tapi memang tiap kali teringat Ciki, perasaan sunyi and bersalah meluru datang menghantui diri.

If only I knew that he had kidney problems...
If only I gave him water everyday!
If only I gave him the normal vegetables instead of anything that he wants to eat! Biar la dia tak suka aku paksa2 dia makan sayur tu daripada dia mati camni...

aaaaa!!!

I miss u Ciki...
I truly do...
T_T