along the winding road...

I'm soooo tired.
drop dead tired.
Badan rasa lenguh longlai la tiap kali balik keje.
Pagi pulak, time nak mangun pegi keje pun sangat lahai menguji kesabaran.
Pastu banyak pulak la order yg aku janji nak anto last week tapi tak tercapai hasrat.
Nasib baik arini cuti, bole la nak setelkan semuanya.
Pinggan mangkuk kat dapur tu pun tak berbasuh lagi.

Petang ni cadangnya mau balik kg.
Lama dah tak balik sejak raya aritu.
Mak aku jatuh tangga 2 hari lepas.
So of cos walopon takde pape tapi at least kena balik jugak la kan mau nengok2.
Pastu nak pegi HOMEFAIR kat Persada nuu.
'kan acara wajib hadir tiap tahun tuh?

Tapi my SIL mau buat acara mkn2 pulak arini.
so of cos my parents-in-law (PIL) akan dtg ke sini kan.

Operasi carik kamera dlm box mana ntah pun patutnya kena berlansung arini.
Kalo tak camne nak capture gambo2 rumah ngan guestbook yang dah siap tu kan.

Hubby adalah lebih kesian.
Dah 2, 3 minggu ni dia balik lewat.
Pastu kena ngemas rumah lagi.
Vakum, sidai kain, mop lantai...
And sgt byk outstation ke luar for his new project.
Last 2 weeks dia ke Terengganu.
Last week ke KL.
and kelmarin ke Mlk.
Malam tadi he told me that nex year most probably dia kena based in Mlk. And he asked me, ada tak mana2 division Sime Darby dkt2 situ or N. Sembilan so that I can be transferred there.

Aku of cos sgt excited sebab Mlk is one of my most fav place ever.
Kalo tak dpt transfer, I can happily resigned and do whatever job there is.
Jadi housewife pun takpe.
ai suker!

work-at-home-mother a.k.a WAHM.
there goes my comfortable shopping income...
haha.
matila kalo bos aku tau nih.

Tapi rasa mcm dah terlalu lama duduk kat Jhr nih.
Macam telah jadi satu zone yg sgt comfort.
'mcm yg aku rasa waktu duduk di Mlk beberapa tahun yg lalu...

The fact that we just bought our new home tu tak kesah la...
UniKL and MRSM tu jln kaki je dari sini.
So, anytime bole sewakan kat org, kan.

I'm the type of person who can always pack and go.

Seriesly, my life-long dream is to run and go built an attap-nipah-house at any Mediterranean/Micronesia/whatever isolated island kat dunia ni.

Nak mkn hape?
kat pulau tu ko tanam la apa2 yg patut.

or maybe I can go backpacking with my partner from places to places.
Motor riding along the road.

cam impian yg sgt horror kan.
haha.

I don't know.
maybe that's just me.
...

Dulu waktu zaman sekolah, I used to have a bf.
not really a bf but he's the closest male that I had for a fren.
But he always thinks of me as his gf, so, whatever.
And I used to love being with him.
'abihla kalo encik Hubby baca nih. si dia adalah lebih jeles dr segala-galanya =p

And walopon tak declare tapi kami terus contact sampai la aku belajar kat uni sampai aku ada real bf and he still contact me and treat me as his gf sampai my current bf time tu sgt2 jeles and mengamuk.

Last few months setelah bertahun lost contact, aku terjumpa dia balik.
kat Facebook.

And he works at Pulau X.

Macam tak percaya.
Sebab kami adalah org yg sama.
I always saw a reflection of me in him and he used to make my life full of sunshine whenever I'm with him.

What I'm trying to say is, mcm tak percaya yg dia dapat capai our life-long dream to stay and to live at an island and gets to do all the adventurous thing.

oh, don't get me wrong.
I'm happy.
I truly am.
It's just that sometimes, there's something in me just sooo wants to get out and ingat balik apa yg aku dah timbus dalam2 dulu.

And fortunately that I've found my dearest Hubby yg berfikiran rasional, yg mengikat aku dengan cintanya di sini...

the one that I love and the only reason that I stay...
the one who compliment my pack-and-go spirit ^_^
...

ISTPs have an adventuresome spirit. They are attracted to motorcycles, airplanes, sky diving, surfing, etc. They thrive on action, and are usually fearless. ISTPs are fiercely independent, needing to have the space to make their own decisions about their next step. They do not believe in or follow rules and regulations, as this would prohibit their ability to "do their own thing". Their sense of adventure and desire for constant action makes ISTPs prone to becoming bored rather quickly.

ISTPs have an enthusiastic, childlike approach to life that is attractive to others. As Introverted Thinkers, they also have some real substance to them which prevents them from being entirely frivolous and hedonic in their pursuits. They are laid-back and flexible, and generally accepting of a wide range of behavior. These attributes make them valued friends and confidantes.

Source : Personalitypage.com

as time goes by...

Kadang-kadang kan, perasaan tu datang tiba-tiba.
Tadi aku baca komen2 kat blog k|ree pastu berdesuppp... kenangan mcm datang tiba-tiba, macam angin lalu yang laju kat tepi and terus menyusup ke hati.

ntah. tatau pun nak describe macam mana.

Walaupun itu kisah lama tapi sebab ia berlaku dalam hidup aku, macam dakwat hitam yang tumpah atas karpet kuning, jadi macam susah nak padam. Kalau cuci dengan clorox pun, berus kuat-kuat, maybe boleh hilang sikit-sikit, tapi karpet kuning tu pun akan berubah kaler jugak kan.

'kau paham tak?

Macam Ciki yang pergi dari hidup aku.
It's not that I want to forget about him.
It's just that I don't want to remember.
I don't want a ticker to remind me that he has gone for how many months now.
I don't want the memory to be there coz it is too painful to swallow.
Macam tiap kali teringat, akan jadi sesuatu yang pahit kat tekak.
Sebab he is the only living thing who kept me sane, when everything falls apart, dulu.

And that is how I feel about Mlk.

Aku singgah sana last few weeks waktu on the way ke KL for my cousin's wedding.
Sebab nak beli gula Mlk dengan cencaluk kat pasar Mlk Sentral nuu.
Tapi kenapa ya, setiap kali pun perasaannya masih sama.
walaupun dah tinggalkannya hampir 3 tahun yang lalu?

Setiap jalan yang aku lalui, setiap bangunan, rasa, setiap nafas yang aku hela di situ, adalah rutin suatu ketika dulu...

to those who knew, they'll know.

hum hum.
...

'and I miss u Ciki... I truly do........
tak, aku tak lupa. aku cuma tamau mengingati.
kerana ia buat perasaan jadi terlalu sedih.. macam sekarang T_T